What will help
This page is for those supporting people.
It tells them about the skills that will help people with their mental health
These are
- Knowing about the individual people they support
- Listening
- Talking
- Being aware of other communities and cultures
- Being aware of their roles and their boundaries (what they can and cannot do)
- Being there for the person
What will help you to promote positive mental health to/for others?
Self-awareness
Anyone who has attempted to understand what is troubling a distressed but uncommunicative individual will recognise the feelings of helplessness that can arise.
This can lead to feelings of anger and rejection in the helper, and supporters may then think ‘let them get on with it,’ but it must be remembered that it is often a failure on the part of adults that has contributed to the development of the problem in the first place.
The first aim must be ensuring that no contact with the person makes it less likely that they will go for help in the future – remember, they may not be ready to talk yet. Learn from your experiences as you go along, both positive and negative.
Try to understand the individual
Try to understand their peer group. Potentially, friends and peers will have learning disabilities too and the kind of support they offer and interactions they have will perhaps need to be accompanied by support from you. It may be that you are the only person that the individual talks to or responds to about an issue.
Try to understand their developmental stage/age. This is especially important when working with people who have a learning disability.
Try to understand their life circumstances
A person who has been let down, been abused, suffered many losses etc may not feel able to trust the most well -intentioned supporter. Establishing trust can take a long time and the process may have many ups and downs.
Actively Communicating
Active listening is more than ‘listening’. It includes paying attention and proving this by paraphrasing what is said back to the individual, reflecting the emotions that you are hearing/seeing, and using body language to convey your interest – e.g. lean towards the person, or sit down so that you are on the same level.
Make sure that you are using language that the person understands and be creative in the way that you communicate with them and understand how they respond to you.
Open questions
Open questions are those that allow some explanation in response, rather than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. Instead of ‘do you like vegetables?’ try ‘what vegetables do you like?’ As the individual is giving you an explanation, remember to keep conveying your interest, looking at them, nodding occasionally, encouraging them to talk more. This can be difficult to achieve when working with those who have a learning disability, but that does not mean you shouldn’t try.
Never promise to keep a secret
Promising this and then having to break this will affect the individual’s trust in you, and others in the future. By being clear that you will not keep secrets, this is not to say that you will tell everyone around you what they have said, you will not get into this position. If something needs to be told, give the individual a choice in how this is done and explain what the time frame will be. It is always better if they can say something themselves, but accept this may not always be possible.
Child protection procedures
Sometimes, children and young people will surprise you and may chose to talk to you about ‘child protection’ issues. If this happens, the organisation you work for will have child protection procedures and these should be followed.
Do not panic or show the child that you are shocked. Calmly encourage them with open questions to talk as much as they can. Always explain to the child/young person what you are doing at each stage and keep them informed and give choices where there are choices that they can make.
Cultural Issues
Don’t be afraid to ask the individual about and observe “how they do things.” This will enable them to give you some insight into their family and cultural life that might help you better support them. Everyone has a culture that is unique to them. Remember that you bring your own culture to any situation.
Don’t pass things off as cultural differences, or lost in translation. Keep trying to communicate with the young person and their family until you are sure you both understand each other. See them as individuals who deserve the best service you can give.
Emotional language
Some individuals may not know the words that can express how they are feeling, so may make one word answers and shrugs. Helping them develop an emotional language will allow them to start expressing their emotions rather than simply acting on them. This can be very difficult for people with a learning disability and it is important to remember that often behaviour (even challenging
behaviour) is the young person using their own personal ‘emotional language’ to communicate.
Boundaries (Knowing what they can and cannot do.)
It is very important that individuals with a learning disability know what they can and can’t do, or what is expected of their behaviour.
It is always better to reframe what they can’t do into what they are expected to do i.e. as a positive – e.g. instead of ‘don’t hit others’, try ‘treat others as you would want to be treated’, ‘respect other people’. Be consistent, don’t change the boundaries because you’re having a bad day and want to take the line of least resistance!
Expect challenge - When setting boundaries, it is normal for people to ‘push‘ at them, to see if they really exist! If they are able to push and push and there is no stopping, then that is not a boundary and it will feel very unsafe to them.
Being there
Even if the person doesn’t talk to you, the main thing is not to put them off talking to someone in the future. Do what you promise, don’t let them down! Remember that how freely an individual communicates depends on their level of cognitive, especially language, development and their emotional state.
Listen and give full attention to the individual. Do not appear to be shocked, anxious or express outrage at what they say. Try not ask questions from which the individual is forced into the position of withholding information. Avoid asking a list of direct questions.